In 1989, about two years after I got into recovery, I had the energy and inspiration to pursue my dream of becoming a singer & songwriter. I put a solo act together of cover and original songs and began performing in coffee houses, cafes, talent shows and various outdoor festivals throughout Southern California.

In 1992 I recorded my first album of original songs, “I’m Showin Up For My Dream”. This album was released on cassette and included 12 of my original songs about my journey of recovery and transformation. This album was primarily sold at my gigs and in women’s bookstores.

In 2019 I followed Wayne Dyer’s lead and decided that I wasn’t going to die with my music still in me, so I had this analog cassette album transferred to a digital format so it could be shared on the many streaming platforms for free for anyone who subscribes to them all over the world. My hope is that these songs will help you realize you are not alone and will inspire and uplift you on your journey of transformation and healing.

What I find so interesting when I listen to these songs today, is I can see they are all about my attempt at healing from the painful loneliness and longing for love which is so prevalent for those of us who experienced growing up in extremely dysfunctional families.  I now understand that this persistent, painful longing for love and connection I sang about was my flashing back to the pain of the chronic emotional abandonment I experienced growing up in my family.  

Through my deep dive into studying the nature of childhood trauma, I learned that any child who is raised in a family where a parent is chronically depressed, anxious, or addicted, or when a child is exposed to ongoing tension or fighting between parents they will inevitably experience the painful feelings of loneliness and the ever-present longing for love that rides in the wake of emotional abandonment.

Emotional abandonment is often referred to as emotional neglect in the trauma field.  In my book It’s Not About Food, Drugs, or Alcohol It’s About Healing Complex PTSD  I share my story of how I endured this form of neglect for over a decade of my childhood.  The good news is childhood trauma is treatable and with the right support and treatment you can heal and go on to enjoy healthy relationships and thrive.  I, along with millions of survivors are living proof that healing and recovery are possible.

I share every step I’ve taken to heal in my book It’s Not About Food, Drugs, or Alcohol It’s About Healing Complex PTSD.  I’ve also included an entire workbook with worksheets, quizzes, questionnaires, and a menu of the best therapies and practices to heal and recover in it.

I hope my songs help you know that you’re not alone, and you that you don’t have to heal alone. I also hope they inspire you to take the next step toward creating a life you love. 

Here’s to your healing and recovery journey and living a life you love!

Mary