In 1989, about two years after I got into recovery, I had the energy and inspiration to pursue my dream of becoming a singer & songwriter. I put a solo act together of cover and original songs and began performing in coffee houses, cafes, talent shows and various outdoor festivals throughout Southern California.
In 1992 I recorded my first album of original songs, “I’m Showin Up For My Dream”. This album was released on cassette and included 12 of my original songs about my journey of recovery and transformation. This album was primarily sold at my gigs and in women’s bookstores.
In 2019 I followed Wayne Dyer’s lead and decided that I wasn’t going to die with my music still in me, so I had this analog cassette album transferred to a digital format so it could be shared on the many streaming platforms for free for anyone who subscribes to them all over the world. My hope is that these songs will help you realize you are not alone and will inspire and uplift you on your journey of transformation and healing.
What I find so interesting when I listen to these songs today, is I can see they are all about my attempt at healing from the painful loneliness and longing for love which is so prevalent for those of us who experienced growing up in extremely dysfunctional families. I now understand that this persistent, painful longing for love and connection I sang about was my flashing back to the pain of the chronic emotional abandonment I experienced growing up in my family.
Emotional neglect AKA emotional abandonment was one of the six ACEs – adverse childhood experiences I endured for over a decade of my childhood. And as I write about in my book It’s Not About Food, Drugs or Alcohol It’s About Healing Complex PTSD, it caused my brain, body and mind to develop complex PTSD.