If you get what you settle for…It naturally begs the question…  What are you settling for?

I know this can be a very uncomfortable and confronting question to ask yourself. Yet unless we own what we’re settling for, nothing can ever change.   Owning that our life is not working may bring up a lot of painful feelings of inadequacy, anger, sadness, guilt and shame.  Actually it is quite normal to feel bad when you are not living the life you want to live.  Our feelings are like our internal GPS system.  When we feel bad about our life our internal GPS system is trying to help by telling us we need to honor ourselves by making some changes in our life.

However, unless we are willing to feel this pain and then take action, we can never give up the suffering.   Sadly, many people choose to blame everyone and everything outside of themselves for their lot in life vs. feeling the pain and shame of owning what they are settling for. You can tell who these folks are since they are the chronic complainers of the world that we are all familiar with.   Some of them are so entrenched and addicted to their victim role that when you offer solutions to them you can tell they really aren’t interested in a solution since they get the attention and sympathy they crave through remaining in their victim identity.  Sadly, it was probably how they got love when they were very young.  However, even these souls can transform their lives if they are willing to take ownership of their circumstances.

When we try to convince ourselves that whatever we are not happy with is not our fault or there is nothing we can do about it, we have placed the power to change it outside of ourselves, which keeps us in a victim role where we will continue to stay unless we wake up from this delusion and take back ownership of creating a life that we truly love.

It’s easy to blame circumstances, genetics, your spouse, kids, mother, father, a past life, the boss or the guy that bugs you at work, but if you are really interested in creating a life you love, you’ve got to own that you and only you are agreeing to settle for a life that you are not happy with.

There are many people who are willing to own that they are responsible for the areas of their life that they aren’t happy with, but still feel stuck since they either don’t know how to change their circumstances, or may feel trapped by their situation.  These folks can stay stuck for decades, and sometimes for their entire life.

If you are one of these people, just know that not knowing how or what to do to make your life work is the most common reason people feel stuck in digging themselves out of an unfulfilling life.

The good news is with the right support you can access solutions and support from others that have been where you are and have made the transition into an amazing life.  I can attest that I am certainly one of them!

When I began to take ownership for the good the bad and the ugly in my life,  I was then finally willing to get the support I needed, and it was then that  my life began to transform.

I came across a book  written by a palliative nurse who recorded the most common regrets of the dying. She put her findings into a book called “The Top Five Regrets of The Dying.”

Below are the top 5 regrets of the dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

My point here is:  Your time is limited.  Don’t waste it by staying stuck by not owning your life or by not knowing “how”, when you can get help to get unstuck.  Start creating a great life NOW, by getting the support you need.  It’s the only way to make sure you don’t find yourself  on your death bed being one of these dying people with these truly sad regrets.

This is your life. Own it. You have something amazing to share with the world.  If you dont know what it is, make knowing what it is your purpose!  All the support you need is available.  However, you have to meet the universe half way by reaching out for help.

If not now, when?

Here’s to an amazing, fulfilling life!

Mary

 

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